Breaking up with someone is not a pleasant experience. Whether it’s a bitter split or a mutual decision, it definitely hurts. A break-up, however, no matter how heart-wrenchingly painful, teaches you some pretty valuable life lessons. That thing people say about break-ups being a life-changing experience, it’s true in a lot of ways. It gives you a chance to evaluate what you want from a relationship, what qualities you look for in a partner and most importantly, it teaches you a lot about yourself. From being at your most vulnerable in the beginning, to piecing your heart back together again, your personal evolution after a break-up is what you should be holding on to. So, if you’re going through a break-up, believe that this turbulent phase of your life shall pass and it will leave you stronger and wiser.
1. You’re made painfully aware of how you deal with loneliness
The immediate phase after the end of your relationship will probably be your loneliest time, owing to the fact that you just lost the person who took up the majority of your time. Plus, if it’s a long-term relationship that has just ended, you’re going to take a while to acclimate to this feeling. Now, how you deal with this feeling is where the learning comes in. You could either be at ease, having time to yourself once again, and you could make the best of this time by working on yourself and doing things you love. Conversely, you could also be terribly affected by this loneliness and try to fill the void by going out and surrounding yourself with people. Either way, it’s your process, and you need to just own it and deal with it the way that helps you most.
2. You realise how strong you truly are
You don’t know how strong you are, till you’re in a situation that really breaks you down. Not that we’re saying that you need to go through a break-up to evolve at an emotional level, but it certainly makes you realise that you may be stronger than you give yourself credit for. How well or how badly you deal with it, gives you an insight into your capability of handling emotionally distressing situations, and no kidding, the next time you’re in a position like this, you’ll be far more equipped to deal with it. We’re not saying you won’t go through the whole ugly-crying stage, but it will definitely be shorter than the last one.
3. You’re exposed to your own flaws
Oftentimes, it takes two to break-up, in the sense that even if it is one person’s decision, it is (somewhere or the other) brought on by the actions of both partners. While we’re not saying you should blame yourself for the end of your relationship, break-ups expose you to your own flaws. Our self-evaluating and over-thinking minds will definitely decipher the various causes for the end of the relationship and this will lead to some positive results as well. You will, in the process, realise what aspects you need to work on, when it comes to relationships, and you’ll even have time to work on them.
4. You will realise your worth
Possibly the best lesson you can learn from a break-up, is the lesson of self-worth. As demotivating as a break-up is in every way, by the time you reach the end of the road, you are made well aware of your self-worth. You will realise you deserve a lot more than you settle for, that your expectations from your relationship are as important as your partner’s, and that you deserve a man truly worthy of all you have to give. With this realisation will come a fresh wave of confidence that will dictate how you see yourself and your future relationships.
5. You figure out what you want and don’t want in your future relationships
Obviously, an unsuccessful relationship sets the tone for your future relationships – from the kind of person you are, right to the person you would like to be with. Treat the failures of your relationship as the don’ts for your future, and the things you loved as the must-haves. You can only learn these things from an unsuccessful love story, so make the most of it. Also, once you’re aware of your likes and dislikes when it comes to being with someone, don’t shy away from being clear about them the next time you are on the cusp of a relationship.
6. You learn that change is a constant
If there’s one thing you’re most painfully made aware of in a long-term relationship, is that change is inevitable. The time you spend together, your experiences as individuals and as a couple, will change you both in some way or the other. Sometimes, coping with these changes becomes a challenge and you aren’t able to accommodate each other’s altered personalities. A break-up gives you time to reflect on this and teaches you that change is probably the only constant and you have to be prepared to deal with it, as and when it comes.
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